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Some BF3 fake patch notes are insightful

Recently EA DICE’s Core Gameplay Designer on Battlefield 3, Alan Kertz, spent some time coming up with some fake patch notes for Battlefield 3, however we doubt that he even thought that the reaction would be so positive – today we will take a look at some of the ideas he and others have shared.

Kertz aka @Demize99 shared his fake patch notes on his Twitter feed, firstly he suggested that the fire rate and damage of the USAS12 with FRAG round had been improved, secondly he said the F35 was now hover only and went on to say that the Mi28 tail rotor had been nerfed to reduce maneuverability. Other fake patch notes included TV guided missiles only being fired when a chopper is stationary, the inability to turn your console off between rounds and finally fall damage which makes soldiers limp and bleed out if unheeled.

As you can see the patch notes were obviously stupid ideas, but if you check out the #fakepatchnotes hashtag on Twitter you can see that the fake patch notes which others are submitting feature plenty of sarcastic comments which allow us to easily see areas of the game which people are clearly not happy with.

Let’s start with something that Kertz said, one of his ideas was to not allow consoles to be turned off between round, some Twitter users have now pointed out that they want a way to quit between rounds rather than have to turn off the console. Also his tweet about the USAS12 with FRAG rounds being buffed has pointed out that lots of people think that this setup is overpowered and used as a “noob cannon” – similar things are suggested about the Tunguska 9K22 in this tweet.

Other things which tweets seemingly mocked include BF3’s “awful” knife animation, the overly-bright flashlight attachments, the Xbox 360’s hacked leaderboards, the price of DLC and the clarity of sound in regards to online chat during gameplay.

Our favorite tweet we spotted was left by @Lepidus33BC, it reads: Stingers will now come out from the other end of the tube meaning you will have to lockon from your backside #fakepatchnotes

Can you come up with something funnier? If so, get on Twitter and remember to use the #fakepatchnotes hashtag!

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Written by Jamie Pert

Jamie has a background in computer repairs and maintenance along with network administration, he now enjoys utilizing the benefits of new technologies and enjoys writing about anything that brings new technology to the world.

He began writing for Product Reviews in mid 2009 and has since expanded his knowledge across a wide-base of devices, he is looking to get more hands-on experience with new devices to gain a better understanding of the latest and greatest technologies.

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