Facebook Divorce Rate In 2011: New Statistics

By Peter Chubb - Apr 4, 2011

Having already discussed “Social Networking Etiquette“, we thought we would take a look at another issue, and that is the Facebook divorce rate in 2011. These new statistics seem a little worrying, and for good reason, as divorces have been on the rise not only because of Facebook but other social websites as well.

The reason for this is due to the fact that people are now able to use websites like Facebook to cheat on their partners, many of us have seen for ourselves how people behave on Facebook, this is just another one of those behaviors. Do not think that this gives you the green light to go out and have an affair, as social networking websites are also being used to catch you out.

According to one report on TheTechJournal, more than 20 percent of an online divorce lawyers case list was because of an affair that started on Facebook. However, not all of them involve sexual relations, “The most common reason seemed to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they were not supposed to.”

Having said that, this is still no excuse and no chats of a sexual or flirty nature should happen if you are in a committed relationship – unless you have an understanding of-course.

There is even a case where one woman learned that her husband was divorcing her via Facebook, as he was seeing someone who he met on The Social Network. One thing we do know looking at the latest statistics, Facebook and MySpace pages will now be introduced more and more over the coming months in divorce courts, so you had best watch out.

Have you ever caught your partner out on Facebook or MySpace?

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Also See: LFC, Celtic Champions League Draw free on Facebook

  • hello i have a  lady whom i love so so dearly, put she left me to another man all because of facebook.
    Now am left alone with tears on my eyes. who will clean up my eyes?????

  • jules

    i laughed when i heard that this morning. brought back memories of my ex-husband announcing his engagement on facebook while we were still married. I don't blame facebook but having that social networking at your fingertips when honestly marriage at times unless both partners are totally dedicated 100 % not just to their family – which we were caught in that trap, but to each other and take the time to honor each other, it is so easy to think the grass is greener on the other side or someone else can make you feel more fulfilled. When in reality…. I wish those 2 well – they still havent got married, just living the dream day in and day out, but there is nothing as good as finding yourself and seeing the big picture and knowing what you want. 🙂

  • Cory

    It's like the saying
    "guns don't kill people, people kill people".

    Same thing applies here.
    Nothing wrong with Facebook (other then lack of privacy). If people are cheaters by nature, they will use the tools to do so. Sure FB makes it easier to connect; however, if they really want to cheat, they don't need FB to do it.

  • Asif

    guys I will pray for forgiveness and hope for a better change because all we have is never enough……..

  • Voice Of Sense

    A lot of points well made here, except people are forgetting……its a website. A simple amalgamation of lines of code. To blame a website like Facebook for the break up of your marriage is like blaming a tree for breaking up your marriage or saying it was your wedding dresses fault. Lines of web code have no intention, no ulterior motive or subversive purpose to destroy marriages,websites don't cheat and send sexy messages to people, thats what people do. All Facebook has done is made it easier for fools to attempt to cheat and easier to get caught, like when the mobile phone first appeared. It hasn't actually changed anything, as much as you want to blame lines of >>dir.run/home or 110001111 if your partner has cheated on you through Facebook its not the websites fault but his fault, a computer has no motivation to find sex for your partner. As much as you want to blame a website for your partners infidelity, almost admonishing them of responsibility, perhaps problems always existed in your relationship but Facebook was merely the straw which broke the camels back?

    • Morelikevoiceofnonsense

      “And to all of you who cite alcoholism as a problem in your relationships or who have lost a loved one to a drunk driver, you are forgetting. . . alcohol is merely a chemical.  A simple ethanol molecule.  Molecules have no intention, no ulterior motive or subversive purpose to destroy marriages or lives.  Molecules do not cause addictive behavior, only addictive people cause addictive behavior.  Alcohol hasn’t actually changed anything, as much as you want to blame molecules of ethanol.”

  • wally

    Well I must say that I have to blame social networking for providing the platform for the break-up of my marriage of 19.5 years. It is very difficult to accept and isn't fair to our children. I am not aware of it's beginning but I am most certainly aware of how it ends, I am glad that I have the sanity left to move forward in very difficult situation. I don't blame the social networks, they aren't at fault, those who choose adultery will answer for their moral crimes and the price they pay is most certainly not worth the cost.

  • Dave

    facebook is for the socially retarded.to be constantly in need of interaction akins of someone that talks on the phone to much. get a life . opening closed chapters that should never be reopened and living out in the open is socially uncooth. try dedicating something to your family instead of playing some idiotic social fishing game.

  • Natalie

    It's not Facebook, or Social Network fault. And you all know that. If you wanna cheat – you'll find the way to cheat with or without Facebook. I'm in a relationship right now. And i met my ex "flame" on social network. I just said hi, that's it. Do i have to continue? No. It's all up to me to decide. People always looking for explanations, but better look at yourself, your partner, and your relationship. Maybe it was over long time before Facebook

  • Anonymous

    One more data point showing what a bunch of spoiled, immature babies so many people are in this country. Anyone filing for divorce because of "inappropriate chatting" on social media needs to grow up. If judges have any common sense, they will view people who think this is "evidence" of wrongdoing as psychos and feel sorry for the other person involved and being accused.

  • Christopher Morvant

    Facebook has also ended friendships as well. I have had this site auto-block and auto-remove friends from my lists often in the past few months. This has caused me no end of misery because of the way it also ties into Yahoo Messenger which has had a virus as of the past couple of months that also auto-deletes and auto-blocks people on your messenger list.

  • annoyed



    I met my wife because of Facebook. We had been best friends in Jr. High and the first two years of High School. Then my family moved away and I never talked to her again. Then a few years ago she found me on Facebook and we rekindled our friendship it. I was single and she was divorced. We fell madly in love, got married six months later and now two years later we have a three month old son. So I am sorry people have lost partners because of it….I have to say THANK YOU FACEBOOK!!!!!!

  • sana

    Honestly and sincerely it is their character, and the lack of a better word.. Self love, if they can't love themselves how on earth can you expect them to love you. Who is not worthy of that of kind of love? If a man or woman loves you and has no questions as to a moral code they follow NOTHING would lead them anywhere, but into your arms. Morals ladies and gentleman is what it is. If you don't have any, you do not care who you hurt, you search for yourself & tear down every solid connection in your life. No straying will ever satisfy that hunger because your empty, but just remember what you trade in for, it is what will make you miserable again. Til the next one comes along. Sorry but I got their number a long time ago, and it never changes, just the bed sheets change, yuck! I pass~~

  • Sage of the Age

    My beautiful daughter in law whom I adored joined facebook and gradually turned into a completely different person from the lovely girl we once knew. She became obsessed with herself, changing her profile picture sometimes twice a day announcing every move she made (like anyone really cared) but she became more and more obsessed with herself. She began to think of herself in rockstar proportions. A girl who nursed her two babies for 6 months to a wild, bar hopping, party animal bringing guys home all hours of the night while her two little boys slept in the next room. Needless to say she and my son are divorced now and a once beautiful family of four is no more……………………so sad.

  • Scmusic

    Wow… I am amazed and shocked that so many people out there really believe a social networking site could be the reason for their failed relationships! That's like saying watching scary movies makes people do bad things, or playing video games or the like. Those who are going to do wrong things will find a venue. There's so much more going on there… it's a shame a place where people can keep up with one another and rekindle old friendships will be made out to be the cause of people's shortcomings. I say, better to find this out and move on… if someone is cheating on you there, they will anywhere!

  • Susan

    Lets not forget AA Stepchat.com where predators abound and "safe and secure" is a joke. After forty years of marriage, two (adult) kids, one grandson, pets, homes, a plane crash, four car crashes and a life time of experiences (good and bad) my husband allowed himself to be played by a (single) Reseda ,California elementary school teacher that he met in the AA step chat room. She told him that he was not her first married man, that she was also a member of Sex and Love Addicts anonymous and that he wouldn't like her after he got to know her. Undeterred, the weasel stopped at our bank (in New Jersey) on the way out of town and withdrew $40,000.00 out of our joint equity account to finance his trip to California. I found out a few weeks later when I called the bank to ask for help with the mortgage. Of course I divorced him, he's the guiltier party in this little drama. Although I agree that its not Facebook or whatever don't under estimate the relentless pursuit that many of these homewreckers (male or female) engage in. They don't care who they hurt. No social site is "safe" and it doesn't matter how old you are, or aren't.

  • Frank

    These are really sad situations I am reading about. I beleive somewhere, someone else has it worse. I had a friend who found out his son commited suicide on FB. Talk about the worst thing immaginable.

  • REDZ97

    everyones wants to blame FB for their spouse cheating or they found an "old flame". There are other search engines besides FB like mylife.com but FB is more poplar. u cant blame fb for your spouses wondering eye, they already had it in them, if it wasnt for fb to blame it would be the grocery store, the local bar etc! Ive always seen where spouses put themselves on dating sites like eharmony looking for someone when their married. Yes internet makes it easier to meet people but I still see a lot of office romances going on guess we better quit or jobs! Heres the thing if ur gonna cheat ur gonna do it and if there rekindling w/an old flame thats cuz that person has always been in their mind and heart, they never left FB just makes it easier. i have had "old flames" contact me on fb and i let them know im w/someone. It takes TWO and if ur not willing it aint gonna happen. I wouldnt be suprised if someone trys to sue fb for their spouse leaving them! U If there doing u like that, u should thank fb for getting them out of ur life!!!!

  • Huh?

    She came, they talked for hours and hours. They compared all kinds of notes about the woman that broke them up and learned some truths. They talked nonstop for weeks, I smiled and watched. I knew he wasn't going anywhere and eventually they came to terms with the 30 years between the high school "love" and the middle age crazies. They still talk now and again and are friends. You either have a healthy relationship that grows and changes and makes allowances for individuality or you don't, try talking to him or her. Try telling them how you feel, what you expect, what you can accept or not tolerate. Get over it., if he or she is going to mess around, it won't take a social network to get them to do it.

  • Huh?

    I am reading this and smiling to myself, as I read it I see all these things wrong with these relationships that have nothing what so ever to do with FB. These things have been going on as long as time and the only thing that has changed is we can now moan about it in a world wide pity party. I do not FB, my entire family does but it just never caught my interest. My husband of 21 years found his one "TRUE" love from high school on it. Invited her and her live in from their state to stay at our home over a weekend, Didn't ask me, I didn't balk, just smiled and said ok, you clean the house, which he did, immaculately. con't

  • Kay

    I think face book is a way to celebrate narcacisim at its finest! You can find trouble anywhere if your looking for it or if your dumb enough to put yourself in compromising situations! However, facebook contains tools that people can be tagged thru others just by pictures! I don't even have an account and i see myself and children on others acccounts all the time! It is an invasion of privacy and just plain WEIRD. Even though there is a marginal window for the first ammendment 2 be tested in this area, i say go for it. Facebook , i feel has more negative results than positive. Modern technology is out of control and there will always be an idiot around to exploit it!

  • Steve

    Do like I did when a old g/f makes a friend request. Ignore it. If you need someone to talk with then talk to your own wife.

  • Steve

    I recieved a friend request from a g/f from more than 30 years ago. I have been married for the last 10 years. I simply ignored the friend request as I know I have no reason to chat with an old g/f. If I need to talk to someone I will talk with my wife.

  • Chris

    My ex wife started a relationship and posted her activity with her new partner on MySpace. My only regret is that I did not file for divorce before she could. I would have liked to have presented her MySpace page as evidence to all that she is a cheater. I am happily remarried now and really think the divorce was the best thing to happen for me! My new wife appreciates and loves me beyond measure…more than I could have wished for. I am sure it will only be a matter of time before my ex cheats on her new guy….

  • Glenn

    i see here reading comments, that all men are dogs, well there are more women cheating now as well… my wife has been cheating on me, and has hooked up with old and new friends through face book. i have 3 other friends going through the same thing with threre wifes as well… i am finding that the women stay home and get on the computer and type away while there husbands are off to work for the family… look for the signs men, house is not clean, wife leaves all the time when you get home, wife is up eary before you get up, you cant look at her cell phone, you cant look at her face book page, you are not her friend on face book… sex is fading, not sleeping with you in the same bed, blames you for everything, hiding credit card debt. getting mad at you if you want to have a family budget. asking her what she spent some of the money on. she tells you that it was for the kids all the time. goes on girl friend tripps around holidays.

  • stephannie

    it wasnt facebook for me but it was yahoo messenger chat room. my husband of 5 yrs was trying to have phone sex. i wanted to leave then but my child started crying for him so i didnt. this took place when we were married one year. now to this day we have been seperated for 2 years and i have filed for divorce recently. he has a fiance and son with another woman. good ridance player. i am so better off and so our my children

  • Maggie

    Hey, no "man" or "woman" for that matter is yours if they can be taken away. Think of it as fresh air….the truth. If FB simplified it for them what's the diff. I am married and have my privacy settings on…..only talk with real friends. My husband doesn't use FB, but I share comments with him and it's just a fun way to keep in contact with people, mostly fam.

  • MustangSallee

    If that was the case he should have talked to her first to let her know what he was feeling. But he took the cowards way out.. She's probably better off without him.

  • Kiwi

    What gets me is, these thirsty chicks on facebook, whos status says " in a relationship" or "married", but yet they request your husband, and when you look at there info, there dirty sneaky asses are looking for men. Well don't look for men requested my husband, cause I will blast your ass for even thinkin bout chattin wit my husband. That was then, (wheneva you knew him) and this is now bitches….My husband and I Do Not have the opposite sex as friends, unless they are family. F@ck that!!!! Ladies there are alot of lonely bitches out there….. if yo man won't give you his password, then do a lil snoopin and get it, and check what the hell he is doin, cause if he don't want you to have it, there is probably a reason. Protect yourself, these idiot men are not slick at all…..

  • Jenny

    Why else would anyone be on Facebook? It's used for spying or flirting or bragging or generally being a self-absorbed, narcissistic person. We as a culture have propped up this insidious monster and now stand back wondering what happened. Google Rebecca F. to hear a great song about this topic called "Facebooked."

    • Principito

      I agree with you completelly, the worst part is that Facebook does not take any responsibility. I could provide many analogies of the reasons why this happends, but in the end, we are seeing the results correct. I also understand that people has to take responsability but, just keep in mind that all relationships go thru phases and Facebook is not really helping of course, but certainly he is selling you out.

  • Zola

    Remember: Easy lost is not worth keeping.

  • Maggie

    Can everyone please stop about Facebook…. if your sure about your marriage and your partner there is nothing wrong with what enters it especially if you both can enjoy it together.


  • Maggie

    Can everyone please stop about Facebook…. if your sure about your marriage and your partner there is nothing wrong with what enters it especially if you both can enjoy it together.


  • Screwed by spouse

    Women are dogs also. They are just as guilty as men.

  • Nikki

    I am part of this statistic as well. My husband decided to finally show the world he had been having an affair on me for 3 years of our 10 year relationship by deleting me off his facebook completely then adding her. It was all because my nieve ass was writing him messages like "I love you have a good day" and she got upset. Funny thing is she is married as well. But this happens to people everyday with these social networking. If you are truely a happy couple then you would just create a page together and share in the experience of finding old friends, colleagues and family.

  • Mark Keenan

    Facebook does not cause divorce, people do. All it is is a method of communication. It has replaced e-mail as the primary method. people facebook each other in the same way they e-mail or used MSN messenger in the good old days.

  • Anna

    I feel for all of you who's relationships ended, however the person is to blame, not Facebook or any other venue out there. If a person is going to stray they will stray, and even though you are hurting now you will be better in the long run. I do have a somewhat related question regarding this and cannot seem to find a definitive answer. Isn't it illegal to access someone elses Facebook or other on-line accounts without permission!?!? My feeling is it should be, simply because when you access someones account you are also accessing every other persons account they have on there, without express permission! Many of us if not most do not use those sites to cheat or commit wrong doing, but many of us do have personal things on the sites such as family photos that we may not wish to share with others who are not on our friend list. Thanks for any onfo you may have out there. And to those of you out there who have been hurt by on-line infidelity keep strong, better days will soon be coming for you and your broken hearts.

  • woman suffering

    Well, my problem is not only facebook but also the e-mail it self. My husband has an important job that allows him to be with lots of women from around the world for along time. He has lots of friends. I don't know his email password, even i don't know whether he has an account on facebook, n he z so secretive..
    Even he z receiving lots of sms on his mobile, n has a password also…
    I know he is cheating on me..now he z workin in another country, and left me in my home country wz 2 children..claimin that he should work there…
    Sometimes i hate technology…

    • Stung14

      Stop playing the victim. It's not technology – it's the man you married. It hurts and it's hard, but you need to stand up for yourself and your children. Don't let the kids grow up thinking this is the right way for a husband to treat a wife. I'm dealing with it myself and my kids get me through it. I know I'm doing the right thing by showing them it's not okay to be treated poorly by someone else. Be strong!

      • starting over

        hi,sometimes it's hard to be strong-I feel sometimes that as a christian that i have no more strength,like
        ok let me take the hits,i'll just go over in that corner,recuperate and that is not how life is suppose to be-what's with all the fighting and defending your-self we are at war in our homes/it's not just countries that are at war/ I believe God gave us free will-thats all how this good and bad stuff happened-if my husband-wants
        to cheat- ok fine-yes I am hurt/yes I have cried/yes its 10 yrs- but i look at the sky and the beauty ,the color of the sky the frehness of a breeze and I KNOW GOD is goog- he'll dry my tears hug me hold me make me laugh again,I just know-that there are not nice people and even those people that hurt us had something good in them or else we would not have been with them/be blessed and continue to be strong thanks for listening and sharing

    • @ woman suffering .that man is seriously cheating on u.. here is my facebook id let chat over there.. i can bring back ur happiness once again.  chima etochukwu  search me on facebook.

  • Mike

    yes the temptation is there, BUT if the marriage wasn't working, it was bound to fall apart. Maybe facebook is doing some kind of favor to those of you who caught your ex cheating. Would it be better to know of the cheating and get out of a bad relationship, or go through life with a cheating spouse and never know it? I would rather know it and move on. Facebook, sounds like, used to be a way to cheat, now it is a way to get caught. Yay facebook.

    • Eddie

      I like your point of view, for those who fortunatelly get out of a bad relationship and find peace afterwards. I rather be normal and meet people the old fashion way by chance (the best) and date someone who is not attach to "Face" there is not need for it.
      Tthere are so many things in life and to be honest I can count my real friends with one single hand (a wise saying), there is not need for having 200 facebook "friends". is not about quantity but, quality correct?

      • mich

        I agree,Imiss the old fashioned way and the way life use to be-my husband had an emotional affair and I
        found it all out.Who knows what else he lies about/ It is Easter Sunday and i decided life must go on-i guess
        it's safe to say hey I am not the only one going through it-who has time to brood-others have such situations
        going on in other countries-their lives being in peril- I may be alone but I can stick my face out my window
        and breathe a fresh wind or see soft fluffy clouds and dream still-I was married on 7/7/07.No-one ever really
        acknowledged my marriage- so to make a long story short-I needed to vent/thankyou for sharing and listening

    • scmusic

      Here here!

  • john

    Any of the Social Networks are just another excuse to cheat if your partner is going to cheat they will wheather its on one of the Social Networks or at a bar or at work on the street
    To blame any other media other than that persons nature is foolish
    Yes it makes things easier but like someone else said they chose that path!!!

  • TheMrsinMN

    My husband was meeting women from Facebook as well as Craigslist. The loser eve flew out some skanky teacher from state who actually flew out to ***** my husband and rolled around in my bed for 2 weeks when I was out of town. I had to get a restraining order against one loony, middle aged desperate woman who lives less then 5 miles from my home. All of them are too stupid to realize what they post online lasts forever, and I fully intend to expose all of them by name, in my divorce.Actually these people all deserve each other and any STD's they spread around. They just need to leave the rest of us alone.

    • wally

      AMEN! My wife of 19.5 years flew one man from our home state to our new home not once but three times and once to another local.

  • Sparky

    Found out from a neighbor who was on MySpace that my ex-husband had listed himself as "single and looking" on his MySpace page. After checking that out and doing a little more research, I found him five(!) places on different social networking sites, using variations of his name, with dates going back as far as 5 years, all showing him as single and available. And that's just what was public. Who knows what else is out there? That was the last straw, as he hadn't worked for the last 8 years, and basically just sat home watching TV, playing video games and partying and getting high with his buddies.

    On the positive side, I did reconnect with a wonderful old college friend through Facebook, and we have been dating for the last two years.

    • KAREN


  • Been there

    It took only six weeks of connecting for my wife to throw a 21 year relationship and the feelings of three kids under a bus. Her old flame seems to share her view about the nightlife . She was already going out with friends when ever she wanted. But now that wasn't good enough. She didn't need me there to witness her departures or her arrivals if she even bothered coming home. So I was kicked to the curb, but shes the victim because she still has the kids.

    • Huh?

      she's the victim cuz she still has the kids???????????? Gee, I can't figure out why she left you, I'm pretty sure it had nothing to do with connecting…..

    • Wally

      I have two children and I feel like the victim, I would say you are bitter that she left, or maybe she seen how much you didn't love your own children. I miss mine very dearly and don't need guys like you giving those DADS in the world the bad press that you seem to publish.

  • Salty

    My wife used Facebook and texting to keep in touch with an "old friend" which in turn ended our marriage. What is the benefit in a divorce case by proving they were writing inappropriate things on facebook or "sexting"? From what I've heard from others, judges usually don't care about cheating/affairs.

  • JDC

    Now wait just a minute….at what point do people become accountable for their actions? To blame Facebook is completely ridiculous….it is just an avenue to end a marriage that obviously had its problems to begin with…these people that blame facebook for the dissolve of a marriage fail to see that their marriage was in trouble to begin with….

  • China

    I was totally upset when I found out that an ex-girlfriend sent a friend request to my husband. I was with him showing him how to use facebook when he got the friend request. We had already discuss that out of respect to each other, we would not allow friend or allow any ex's. We agreed but a few weeks later, he got that same friend request with a message. We both read it and he ask me if he could accept the request….I was furious but I told him to do what he wanted. I didn't think that he would accept the request since I was clearly upset and he did anyway. Well, I found out this weekend that they have been having conversations through the private message and not using their wall to do so. When I asked him if he had any contact or conversations with her he totally lied to me. I blow my top off and told him that he better be prepared to suffer the consequences of his action. I am feeling so disappointed in him. Yes, I admit that their conversation was harmless but that's how it all starts. Am I over reacting to this?

    • qwerty

      He should have respected that you didn't want him to add his ex, but I think that you're overreacting. Like you said, their conversations were harmless.

    • Stung14

      I don't believe you are over-reacting. My husband found his high school sweetheart on Facebook several years ago and talked to her a little and I knew about it. It was when I found an e-mail from her asking how to get rid of the notices when you have an e-mail that made me nervous because it made me feel like they WANTED to hide their messages. Long story short – it's called an emotional affair or emotional infidelilty. It's much worse than a physical affair because they betray your trust. When you approach the person about your feelings, they usually make you feel stupid because they "were just talking" and talking is not wrong. Don't buy into that if that's not how you feel! If it's horribly painful for you, it's okay to feel that way and it's not his right to belittle that feeling.

    • Non-social networker

      You are absolutely NOT over reacting to your husband deceptive behaivor! & yes it is Deception because, if he had NOTHING to hide he wouldn't have to LIE about chatting with her or hide his conversations from you via "private chat" with her.
      However, I have to say when he asked if he could accept the "friend" request from her you really should have been honest with him & said how you truly felt rather than deflecting your "angry, upset" feelings and saying "Do what you want". Unfortunately, many of us are guilty of doing the same thing thinking our loved one will some how read our mind & realize we are upset then just not do it. But if I've learned anything over the 26.5 years of marriage it's SOOoooooo much easier to say that difficult thing to begin with than to suffer the consequences & difficulty later. I wish you the best of luck & hope the two of you can get this worked out.

    • KAREN

      No your not over reacting,he sould not have eccepted her request,he sould have respected you,afterall you did get upset,i would to,Men need to man up and stop being so weak when it comes to things like this,can't they just be faithful.MEN ARE TOO WEAK.


      • Thongy

        men are too weak, really?? i have just gotten a divorce from my wife after 6 years of marriage, after learning that she had been sleeping with her business partner for the last 2 years, and i found out through someone else, not my wife… i knew that something was wrong in the last 2 yrs but never even would have considered that she might be cheating on me, especially after i had numerous talks with her and trying really hard to improve the marriage and even asked if she was having an affair on 3 separate occasions, which got the reply, "of course not!!" i think you might be stereotyping a little bit here karen, some females are pretty pathetic and weak too!!

    • Frances

       No China, you’r not over reacting!  I’ve been with someone for six months, he always told me he was selective with women, and I believed this after taking note he didn’t seem to even notice other females (or pretended not to) nothing wrong in looking, we all do it!    I found out he meets up with a female friend every so often for a coffee, then a drink, something he said made me suspicious, so I went on his facebook, saw a “sexual inuendo” being said to a 17 year old in his friends list, went into her page and was shocked at the conversation between them, the girl wasn’t really saying anything suggestive, but my man turned everything she said into something smutty,  ….after leaving my bed one Sunday, while I was upstairs getting dressed, he made a suggestive comment to her, this even went as far as him saying, when he gets his motorbike, he it doing a Euro trip with a single mate of his (I knew he had planned to go on this trip) but he told this girl if he goes to Germany he would be in contact, -he is from Austria and has friends in Germany!  The worst and “expected” part when I confronted him was the lies and excuses, he would say one thing and in the next breath he would completely contradict himself, and started telling me I was twisting things!   oh, and of course he informed me while he was writing and sending these smutty messages he had NO sexual thoughts, – yeah right! and no intentions!  after talking and heated debating, I dumped him, I was devestated, he wrote me a letter, we chatted, he admitted he was wrong, saying he didn’t know why he done it!  ..we ended up giving it another chance,..but if I’m totally honest, it’s just not the same, when I,m alone I think, if he wrote this, where I could find it,(most was written in German, but I speak the language enough to understand)  what the hell has he been saying and doing privately,? after all,  I noticed he was constantly on facebook, via his phone, every night until the small hours, and I know he’s not told me everything!  I can’t find that trust within me any more and wonder if  I have been a fool in getting back together, I haven’t confided in my friends, as they are biased and will only tell me what I want to hear!  I had been happily single for some time, but hey, I fell for this guy and look where it’s got me!! 

  • debra

    I have always been a firm believer that no wife /husband can be "stolen" unless they want to be. Facebook and other social networks are a great way for people to connect. You can't blame the computer for what the opertor does. Granted some people may not have connected if not for facebook but if someone is looking they will find the hookup anywhere. Put the blame on the person.

    • lady1203

      wow this is VERY true! Most people who cheats and leave their partners after so many years are mostly those who as low self esteem. So if you think you are victim, you are actually bless that your burden is finally gone for good – good riddance. People may never realized it but the victims are usually the ones who are stronger and smarter than the cheaters. They were actually the ones who were holding the fort to begin with.

  • The Coach

    All this is crap,if it wasn't Facebook it would've been something else,people need to take responsibility for their own actions,mess,life and what happens to them…..its always something or somebody's else's fault.People are great at playing the BLAME GAME….everybody wants to be a victum now days…well blame the TEA party or the Government.

    • lady1203

      Funny to ready this but VERY true!

  • joab

    I think many of us have forgotten what marriage is about. I will pray for everyone suffering and hope that God forvige those adulterous man and woman. Marriage is a wonderfull thing, but it takes hard work and determination. It is not one sided affair but two

  • Good Girl

    I agree, I've been married for 17 yrs been w/ my husband since 10th grade in highschool , I should of left but My three children are the only thing keeping me their now, He seems to think he is such a wonderful husband, father, ,,, Let him think what he wants… What comes around goes around,….. believe it or Not…

    • KAO

      I salute you dear lady, not many women do that.

    • John

      There is no such thing as a Good Girl.

    • older and wiser

      Please don't stay for the children, more than likely they don't want you to anyway. I know I stayed, my children told me to leave 10 years ago and I did. He convinced me to come back and because of my value for family and my marriage I did. Guess what, I am now fifty, getting divorced and my children don't even want us in the same room together. My soon to be ex knows how to play the poor sorry guy and makes everyone feel sorry and guilty for him, I am a stronger person and everyone thinks I am okay because I am so strong, but all I wanted was my marriage and my family and now at age fifty I am where I knew I would end up anyway, older and in a bad economy where I will probably walk away with nothing after years of working my butt off, being abused and cheated on all because I stayed for the children and they didn't want me to stay in that because it made me become a very unhappy depressed person, not who I really am!! So don't stay for the children you really are just prolonging the inevitable, go live your life while you still have one to live!!!

    • open your eyes

      You are a loser if you are using your kids as the reason. If you wanted to leave, you would have by now. You are probably way too insecure in your own warped reality to do anything about it and fend for yourself. Good luck in fantasyland ya crazy!

  • kwhit1516

    When are people going to stop blameing thier problem own thier on actions stop blaming everyone thing and everyone else I use face book love it i found lost friend realtives.

  • divorced guy

    Same here….Wife left after 13 yrs and after she got her MBA…me I am the shlump that kept taking it for the team. So she gets the kids,the house and a dou#hebag who left his wife and kids for her. The funny thing is he doesnt change his status on facebook for her…hee hee. consolation prize my middle aged bretheren the only girls that I date are in their twenties,have no kids , make their own money and look better than the wife that left.

  • Carrie

    Facebook didn't cause all these problems. Are you kidding? There had to be problems already in the marriage. Perhaps your spouse didn't feel loved anymore and when they connected with an old flame they felt what they are missing in your marriage. You really can't blame facebook for that.

    • MICH


  • Posey

    so sorry… 🙁

  • Heart Broken 2

    I feel your pain. My husband of nearly 10 years has been cheating on me for our entire marriage and facebook has become an additional venue for him to do his dirt. Honestly, I'm with him because of some warped sense of forgiveness but mostly because we have 4 girls. His deal on facebook however is the inappropriate conversations and over-the-line flirting. I just placed parental controls on my computer at home yesterday because I've decided if he is going to continue, (since one moment he says flirting is not cheating but the next he'll say he's addicted and can't stop) then he'll have to do it on his cell only and not my computer. Facebook in my situation isn't the cause for him cheating but it's definitely an added stimulus that makes it almost impossible to fix our marriage. Nevertheless, I do believe these social networks are the reason some people cheat for the first time!

    • jlo

      A website is NOT the reason why someone cheats for the first time or the 10th time. It does widen the pool of people that a person can cheat with, but its the person himself or herself that makes that step towards cheating.

  • Gunit

    I feel sorry for you heart broken. But to be honest I think facebook is overrated. I will soon become married me and my husband do not have no facebook. I have alot of things going on in my life to be worried about ole friends and status. I dont care to see my friends I went to school with, and if I do that why cell phones were invented. Keep your head up

    • Thatdudem

      @Gunit I agree totally!!, Get off facebook and live life people!!!

  • Karon

    I would agree that social networking sites play a part in cheating and the dissolution of marriages but I think people are giving these sites way more power than they actually have. Old flames and others can contact you all they want but it's up to the person in the committed relationship that has to shut down the advances or go along with it.
    I tell my husband all the time "a man can only get as far as I let him" and the same goes for him. If he's so weakminded and unable to control himself that he's lead astray that easily then I really wouldn't want to be married to him.

    • Jeff

      Very well said; it IS up to us to allow people in. I think a lot of people these days are simply not patient enough to understand the full term 'committment'. Everything is work, and is not a quick fix. The saying that the grass isn't always greener on the other side comes to mind. We all have the power to put on the brakes if we want or are committed to doing so. Face Book is built on the premise that we are all the center of our universe, and what can I say or do to bring more attention to myself. Sure it is great to catch up and stay in touch…but really, think about it, we all are on facebook for attention. Maybe not all the time, but somewhere along the lines we enjoy it when it comes. Thus, bringing me back to the point…it is up to us to realize what we are actually doing for ourselves and to the poeple around us. The people around us as can only get as close as we let them.

      • lady1203

        I totally agree with Karon and Jeff. Very well explained.

  • Getting over it…

    I feel for you… It happened to me not too long ago. I was married for 14.5 yrs (been together 4 plus years prior). I have three young kids. The guy she obcessed after for 2 years does not want her, so now it's anyone who will take her… Hang in there.

    • tdr

      Same story with me but what amazes me is how much people regress.

  • Sandra Walters Weiss

    My husband left me while I was in the hospital,He and his 13 year old spoiled brat,who put on such an act she should have won an Oscar. I am heartbroken.I rescued his kids and got custody for him,as they were living in squalor, Ever since then he listens to everything the kids say.If they told him to jump off a bridge,he would .He feels like he was a deadbeat dad,because she used the kids as pawns until she went on a drug binge Took off left the kids with her gambling addicted father.So I took them in raised them and quit a $45,000 a yr job because he wanted me to be a stay at home MOM. Yeah,I am staying at home barely surviving while they all treat me like crap.I am not allowed to go to his house because she throws a tantrum.She's 16 now and following Mom's path. What to do???? .

    • Blanco Feo

      Hi Sandra,

      From I am reading from you…you are very much in Love with your Man…and he left you…now the 13 year old is making certain that you don't come back…

      Well Baby…good riddens…if you don't "Fit" why trouble yourself…chalk this one as a lesson learned…these are the hard knocks of life…living isn't easy, and loving is twice as tough!!

      Wishing you a happier life…please don't give up…there is someone out there just for you…Bye.

      Blanco Feo

    • john

      Its time to Walk away not slowly but as fast as your feet will go
      if he is not willing to hear you out or take your side That means it has been a One sided relationship All Along
      Stop trying to Resue people that do not want to be helped !!!!
      Live is about change make one foryourself

    • KAO

      Never take a man with children. It just doesn't work.

    • Stacy

      What to do???? Are you serious? You gave up a 45K job – in this market no less – because this man, who doesn't even make his kids or ex respect you wanted you to be a 'stay at home mom'? If you are smart enough to earn 45K on your own, then you should be smart enough to figure this one out!!!
      Oh, by the way, I'd spend less time on whats wrong with his ex, her dad and their 16 year old kid and more time on what's wrong with your husband!

    • been there

      I am in a marriage with three step kids. Similar situation with the mothers. (yes, mother"s") The kids were young when we met and two are grown now. One time in over 13 years they were disrespectful to me. I am not talking about your normal mouthy teenager stuff, I mean completely out of line. I packed a bag, left for a week and it has never happened since. I know breaking free when you love somebody is easier said then done but you do need to start making decisions for you. Start by going back to work. Don't ask for his permission, just tell him you did it. This is your life and he apparently doesn't care about adding quality to it so you need to do that yourself. To me they sound like a pretty manipulating and selfish bunch. Start being a little selfish too.

    • bill

      have you tried working out so you look hotter

      • Concerned

        Have you tried being a compassionate human being? You would look hotter.

    • Vincent

      Hello Sandra Sorry for what happend to you,and I feel for you .and while the guy who create this facebook is getting rich most people they are getting miserable and destroy family.sometimes be nice doesn not pay off.

      Trust me i know I have been there. Hope to hear from you and good luck

  • bntherednthat

    I see my friends doing this – reconnecting with old "flames" – all the time! And not just one! It is crazy what goes on!!
    I know the temptation is great – someone reaches out to you, and says things to you that maybe you haven't heard in a long time. And they think it's ok because it's ONLINE.
    I would advise ANY couple in a committed relationship to allow your partner to browse your facebook account if they ask. That doesn't mean necessarily giving the password, but log on yourself, and let them browse. And you should be able to do the same thing if they have an account.

  • Heart Broken

    This happened to me. My husband had been corresponding for months with an old "flame" who found him through facebook. They ended up scheduling an 8 day timeshare stay and it ended in the dissolution of our 24 years of marriage. I'm heart broken. If it hadn't been for facebook, she would have never been able to rekindle an old love affair with someone in Florida when she lives in Alabama.

    • Christopher

      Same here, married 31 years, come home from workin swing shift, there is a not on the table, she's gone. Thanks Facebook

      • Kelly

        You may not see it now but she just gave you everything you wanted. My Doctor told me those same words as I was handed divorce papers ( 25 years together) while getting ready to go under the knife in the OR 10 years ago.

    • ms shae

      She will be just as sad as you. the way you get them thats way you will lose them.

    • Ditto

      I understand your pain because I went through it myself. But 2 years later now I realize that it was meant to be. If the other person feels they have to venture out, then the marriage wasn't as strong in the first place.
      That said, I hope he realizes what he is loosing and maybe you guys can work out a solution.

    • tonya k

      That's terrible; so sorry to hear that –

    • azureblue

      I personally think that the capability and willingness to cheat must be present before facebook can actually contribute to an affair or break-up

      • lady1203

        Totally agree. If it is not Facebook, it's most likely another tool….

    • Another Broken Heart

      Same here too….what took sooooo long for an article like this to come out??? the now ex-husband had a facebook account for 4-5 months before I even knew he had one. Since my daugther already had one she asked if I had one and I told her I didn't approve of those sites and had already had incident with "MySpace" involving my husband. As I was in the middle of sharing that with her she came across "my now ex-husband's facebook page". That hurt me more because it was my own daughter who found it. He kept it a secret. His famous words were: "oh I meant to tell you" Hmmm…he had no intention of telling me. Needless to say he had added friend from his high school days and former co-workers and one in particular (a woman of course) who happened to live 3 blocks away from our home at the time who had enough sense to turn him down but she wound up introducing him to the woman he eventually left me for. Nice huh?

    • WTH

      22 yrs married, "old high school flame" contacted hubbie and pursued him with cards, inappropriate pics, even her old high school ring. Purchased a cell for contact with eachother, had separate email address for communicating. Her hubbie is her "30 year soulmate" and is a pastor in Lancaster. She has written a book on a religious level. My hubbie was working out of state to advance his career and she continually contacted him and even met in LA in hotels for several meetings. We are now divorcing although he uses our marriage of the past years as insufficient as an excuse. Tried to reconstruct however, trust is now an issue that cannot be repaired. He is now heartbroken over his "soulmate" that continues on with her marriage, family, children because her hubbie has considered my hubbie to be a stalker and her to be a victim. She has created a domino effect on hubbies adult children and family members. Hubbie is now soul searching and trying to find his way without the woman that is "Pastor's Wife"….

    • screwed

      same here, married 27 years, wife started on FB, started meeting men in motels

      • Eddie

        Amazing ! I feel for you and the rest of your family, as I had mentioned before, all relationships go thru phases but, then there is good old "Face". I wish you good luck and hopefully you find someone normal who does not need a site to be SOMEONE.

    • screwed

      Better be aware of texting on cell phones also. Wife of 27 years called and texted other married men more than her own daughter

    • Melissa

      Heart Broken…I am so sorry to read your post. It really is ridiculous how high tech, can be so responsible for marriage breakups and not only marriages. I would imagine a lot of serious relationships have ended before they even got to the alter because of social networking. I think married couples should for the sake of temptation should not be a part of any social networking.

    • Melissa

      One more reply about all of this. I actually blame Facebook more than any of the other social networking because they require your real name to be displayed on Facebook and that is how people are found. If Facebook would allow their members to use psudo names like MySpace and others, then it would be harder to find someone. So if Facebook is reading this article, they need to seriously do some rule changes because they are in my opinion more responsible for divorces and breakup than any other social neworking site.

    • I am sorry this happened to you. Please know the grass is green and the sun is going to shine for you. You take care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • don't give a damn

      Ok, as I read all these responses I can't help but think to myself. If these women/men were so quick to cheat on you through a FB account, don't you think they were at the very least thinking about it prior to that?? I can tell you for certainty that if they were that quick to do it through FB, they had at least thought about doing it beforehand. They used the site to hide most of it because it's easier than explaining to you why they smell like perfume from meeting in person with them. Start doing some soul searching and maybe you will all uncover the truths deep inside, till then, good luck!

    • michelle

      Hey listen,Ijust found out my so called husband who I HAVE BEEN SUPPORTINF FOR 10 YRS has been using
      facebook to link and get young girls like in highschool.I have copied all the emails and he was so desparate that this highschool girl ended up calling him a desparateloser.It was like he was constantly messaging her
      and sent his mobile phone # to her and live video to her/ and she even told him that she has nothing todo with the musicindustry and he continued tp pursue her–I had found little notes in his closet and his belongings that he mentally prepared what he was going to say to these girls whether in person or on facebook -don't feel bad
      you feel bad because you have 20 somewhat years under your belt you'd think you deserve better than this
      well you doremember karma what goes around comes around-your husband probably always had it inmind to do this ,maybe even flirted-even if my husband says oh Iwon'tever go on f/bookagain-I feel i don't know him
      any more.It'S Easter Sunday my marriage is over